Ingredient X

I wonder how time zaps off these days. I am still grieving for the sudden death of that little boy in me in this new city that I am learning to live in. I am not melancholic or lonely but quite content with this new life. Yet I feel some emptiness. Like my new wenge bookshelf which is empty, waiting in a corner for cartons of books to arrive shortly. In a way, it is luckier than me. At least it will be “full” once the books are here. What will fill this empty space of mine? Certainly, it has nothing to do with love. It is actually a wonderful feeling to wait for your lover (A cliché I could not avoid because of the truth in it).
This emptiness is like my amateur cooking.
Salt, spices, taste and texture… everything is fine. Yet, something vital is missing. One could never actually figure out what is missing unless he tries adding one ingredient every next time he cooks that dish.
It consumes time. Tests my patience. Sometimes, like the food, even the chef needs seasoning. Add that one secret ingredient to my recipe to bring out the aroma of life. I wonder what it is.
It consumes time. Tests my patience. But I will not quit cooking.
I am an amateur chef but not a bad one.
I will keep on stirring this pan and wait for the perfect flavour…

29^th day of August 2008

New Delhi-91.