Saturday, 30 August 2008

Restart the System


This thought struck me out of nowhere.
The idea of its consequences flashes a bundle of emotions at the same time.
What if you could relive the moments you have come across but with the knowledge that you now possess?
The knowledge of consequences. A chance to rewrite a few moments in your life.
Restart.

Will you make your parents cry if you could relive the day you are trying to forget?
Marvellous it will be to walk up to the girl of your adolescent dreams to whom you seldom spoke and ask her if she would like to walk with you to school.
Can you go for a bicycle ride with your boyhood friend gleefully on a rainy day if you know he will turn out to be your Judas in a week?
You could have saved your wallet from the pick-pocket that day.
Win a lottery.
It would be awesome if you knew before all the questions from the Math Exam and also at which step you will make a mistake.
How great will it be to make that one move which could have got you the dream job?
You can go back in time and confess your love if you know that she was waiting for you before marrying that dumb computer guy.
You can ask that friend to stay back on the night he died of an accident within thirty minutes of saying goodbye to you?
Dreams. Hopes for miracles. Grieves and tears for unbearable loss. Nostalgic pain. Deep breath. Chocking throat. Feeble smile.
Though the sanity of the mind knows what is done cannot be undone, the abyss of the heart longs to transport to those past days.

Friday, 29 August 2008

Ingredient X

I wonder how time zaps off these days. I am still grieving for the sudden death of that little boy in me in this new city that I am learning to live in. I am not melancholic or lonely but quite content with this new life. Yet I feel some emptiness. Like my new wenge bookshelf which is empty, waiting in a corner for cartons of books to arrive shortly. In a way, it is luckier than me. At least it will be “full” once the books are here. What will fill this empty space of mine? Certainly, it has nothing to do with love. It is actually a wonderful feeling to wait for your lover (A cliché I could not avoid because of the truth in it).
This emptiness is like my amateur cooking.
Salt, spices, taste and texture… everything is fine. Yet, something vital is missing. One could never actually figure out what is missing unless he tries adding one ingredient every next time he cooks that dish.
It consumes time. Tests my patience. Sometimes, like the food, even the chef needs seasoning. Add that one secret ingredient to my recipe to bring out the aroma of life. I wonder what it is.
It consumes time. Tests my patience. But I will not quit cooking.
I am an amateur chef but not a bad one.
I will keep on stirring this pan and wait for the perfect flavour…
29th day of August 2008
New Delhi-91.